tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28889858787887642872024-02-21T01:09:09.623-08:00Call Me Crazy, PleaseUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger133125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-14140107079657481212023-09-20T07:06:00.002-07:002023-09-20T07:06:35.234-07:00A Place To HealA place to heal within<br />
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Just me<br />
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Just me within me<br />
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A place to heal within fear<br />
Within darkness<br />
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A place to heal<br />
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Soak within the moon<br />
Soak within the obscure<br />
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A place to find peace<br />
A place to find me<br />
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What do we look for?<br />
Everything we left behind<br />
<br />
The things we left in Wonderland<br />
<br />
The risk of searching<br />
<br />
Pull me from this skeleton<br />
Pull me from this hell<br />
<br />
When the stars are shining<br />
We are deep within<br />
<br />
We do not belong to this world<br />
Trapped in Wonderland<br />
<br />
I feel locked away within a place unknown to all<br />
A place to heal<br />
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This fire<br />
It burns oceans I wish to keep<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-30408922679384654942023-09-20T05:37:00.003-07:002023-09-20T05:37:23.014-07:00The Middle Wall Is You<p> The underbelly </p><p>That's where it takes place. </p><p> Much like the middle wall </p><p>Whatever that means.</p><p> It dips you down, until you believe </p><p>In something that isn't yours. </p><p> Do they know the trouble is causes </p><p>The way it rips and turns in your gut.</p><p> Time and time again </p><p>The folds we are looking for turn to ash.</p><p><span> <span> Isn't that what they are designed to do</span></span></p><p>Come and go, come and go?</p><p><span> <span> Maybe I'll rest in the underbelly </span></span></p><p>Somewhere in the middle wall</p><p><br /></p><p>Whatever that means. </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-51745961011468096492023-09-20T05:35:00.002-07:002023-09-20T05:35:52.590-07:00Will This Give Way The more we twirl with delight, the more we fall covered in bruizes<br />
Stuck in space, we cannot breathe. The dark shadows linger.<br />
I drain my blood waiting for my soul to rest.<br />
<br />
Will this give way<br /><br />
Wondering among the flames<br />
Settling where it does not burn.<br />
Looking for a memory to cling onto.<br />
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Will this give way<br />
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Where can you go to feel whole?<br />
Where can you go to feel free?<br />
Where can you go to feel nothing?<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-84845408476231454802023-09-20T05:34:00.002-07:002023-09-20T05:34:24.265-07:00The Place We Call Love<p> I wasn't thinking about falling when I took my first steps </p><p><span> <span> crawling wasn't what I had planned either. </span></span></p><p><span><span>I thought love would feel more like floating <span> </span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span> <span> recklessly through some kind of space. </span></span><br /></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span>The air would taste thick but be bearable </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span> <span> consumable while our lips moved from neck to toes. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Despite the flashing caution signs placed like traffic lights</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> <span> this atmosphere promised to change the core of you.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><span> <span> </span></span>I did fall when I took my first steps</p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Why don't they tell you the dirt is going to sting?</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> <span> Love does feel like floating </span></span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Every pain you've ever felt floating right to you.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> <span> The air tastes like shallowing glass </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Little shards getting caught in your larynx as it rips. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> <span> The reflection in the mirror is not my core </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p>Changes have taken place after giving it to you. </p><p><br /></p><p>In this place we call love</p><p><span> Does not matter to you?</span><br /></p><p><span>In this place we call love </span></p><p><span><span> I'll bleed more than I thought. </span><br /></span></p><p><span><span> </span><br /></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> <span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><br /></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> <span> </span></span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span> <span> </span></span><br /></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-38802169718784248812019-09-09T17:52:00.001-07:002019-09-09T17:53:41.528-07:00Melt <br />
I hope to melt. Melt so deeply that I am unrecognizable.<br />
Closed into my ribcage, my heart does not beat.<br />
The black smut stained my fingers. The taste is bitter.<br />
<br />
Marked like the feeling I hoped I could master.<br />
I gave it more than a fair chance.<br />
When the glass slipper doesn't fit, forcing will not change the fact.<br />
I'm not really like this. For the pain I would rather know. <br />
For I am blinded. To fall in love. To fall.<br />
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The end of a magic line. The spark that rain drops smash before our eyes.<br />
For I am blinded. To fall in love. To fall.<br />
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What might have been love.<br />
In the morning I'll forgive myself.<br />
The same way I'll forgive you.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-45285719758460958532019-03-25T18:58:00.000-07:002019-03-25T18:58:17.943-07:00To The Girl I Do Not Know I wonder about things that I hope to never face.<br />
Standing up for what is deep seeded will crack the walls.<br />
Alone. Will silence overcome this?<br />
<br />
It's not what we fear, it's what we fear to find.<br />
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I started looking at myself in the mirror. I didn't like the reflection looking back.<br />
She was tired. And could not hide the pain residing in her eyes.<br />
How could she change? She could let love in. But what about the rejection? She feared most, letting herself go only to fall on her ass.<br />
<br />
But what if she didn't try? Could she change without moving a step.<br />
<br />
She began to smile. First step<br />
She began to enjoy. Second step<br />
<br />
What if she can't find her way out?<br />
<br />
What if she could not make it work? Was she a failure?<br />
<br />
What if she jumped? FACE DOWN<br />
JUMP<br />
<br />
Could she survive the risk?<br />
<br />
Could she survive with wondering what could have been?<br />
<br />
Head spinning with questions... what if it hurts?<br />
<br />
So much pain already acquired, why not a little more?<br />
<br />
Believe in yourself that you can do ANYTHING!<br />
Simple words that do not carry<br />
<br />
Open your heart to new possibilities<br />
And see what flows in<br />
<br />
Forget those that treated you less<br />
Forget those that made you feel unworthy<br />
<br />
Open your heart to new things<br />
Hope for the best<br />
And recover when it all goes wrong<br />
<br />
Change your standards on what success means<br />
<br />
Give yourself a chance<br />
Give yourself a chance<br />
<br />
Love yourself and be proud of your growth<br />
<br />
You have grown into someone you always wanted to be.<br />
<br />
Run towards the things you want<br />
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Let yourself have it<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-11536874275997181382019-03-11T12:19:00.000-07:002019-03-11T12:19:46.720-07:00Looking UpLooking up and looking down<br />
Hoping to witness a miracle of sorts<br />
<br />
Covered in defeat<br />
How will I know when it's over<br />
<br />
Looking up and looking down<br />
Here we are lost in our own dreams<br />
<br />
Thoughts circle; moments pass<br />
The clouds are larger here<br />
<br />
Looking up and looking down<br />
<br />
Never looking back again<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-39094182944416176122019-03-08T15:51:00.003-08:002019-03-08T16:34:25.166-08:00TimeThe more we ran in circles, the less we looked for love in each other.<br />
<br />
This phase in our time was over. <br />
<br />
The wolf came and removed all that was left.<br />
<br />
The more I run, the faster my heart fails.<br />
<br />
The more I run, the faster my heart fails.<br />
<br />
More, more, more<br />
<br />
It's always more<br />
<br />
Need more time<br />
<br />
It will never heal anything<br />
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Over.<br />
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Time.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-30161111377940108412019-03-07T19:00:00.003-08:002019-03-07T19:00:47.063-08:00The Demons We Meet What we hope to overcome will follow me until I face the worst kind of demons.<br />
My demons meet me at night, deep into my dreams.<br />
They sing songs I fear to know. They change faces I fear to see.<br />
The sad part about the circle is that those demons are the truth. The ugly truth.<br />
I know them well. I know each and every one of them.<br />
<br />
The demons we meet are ours to keep.<br />
Replacing them is not an option. Overcoming is not promised.<br />
<br />
We make due; pleasing them is required.<br />
<br />
I'm lying if I said I didn't want it.<br />
Haunting thoughts promise exciting results.<br />
<br />
The demons we meet keep the edge.<br />
The demons we meet control the fear.<br />
The demons we meet complete the truth.<br />
<br />
The demons we meet might save us.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-3928820731411858442019-03-03T10:48:00.001-08:002019-03-03T10:48:16.981-08:00Hunting Once upon a time, I looked deep into my fears and pulled out a key. The key was brass and engraved with three letters. Stumbling through the forest to collect my thoughts, I lost the gifted key. This loss followed with clouded memory of how the key became.<br />
Written in cursive, "IMD"<br />
<i>I'M Drowning</i><br />
<br />
Voices whispered, "Can I dive deeper?"<br />
"Yes" without hesitation.<br />
<br />
I'm drowning deeper into this forest looking for the key. I don't even know what the key opens. The forest is cold and reminds me of my nightmares. I search through leaves. I remember the cold touch.<br />
Hunting for the key<br />
<i>I'm drowning</i><br />
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"Can I dive deeper?"<br />
"Yes."<br />
<br />
I am running in circles. Truly, my mind is racing. I don't have the key.<br />
When the rain falls, I hear leaves smack harder into the soil.<br />
My dreams happen at midnight. Rain echoes loudly over my racing thoughts.<br />
The more I hunt, the more lost I feel.<br />
<br />
This key... brass colored, shiny gloss; what was it's purpose?<br />
<br />
The rain begins to melt the trees. Big, tall, open trees come tumbling down.<br />
One after another.<br />
Each tree falls. <br />
<br />
<i>I'm drowning</i> in the escaping leaves.<br />
<i>I'm drowning</i> in tree bark, twirling around me.<br />
<i>I'm drowning</i> in fear, as the rain covers my mouth.<br />
<br />
We are all drowning in this forest built on nightmares.<br />
<br />
The key floats past my view.<br />
There she is.<br />
Beautiful.<br />
The only way out of here is to possess the key.<br />
I must retrieve it before I suffocate.<br />
<br />
My fingers reach out.<br />
I miss the brass metal.<br />
First chance... gone.<br />
My feet kick under the sweaty water.<br />
Swimming towards the key.<br />
My eyes read three letters, carved so faintly; IMD<br />
I reach out, but my grasp is weak.<br />
Second chance... gone.<br />
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In this moment, I realize the truth.<br />
The key will never be mine.<br />
I will never break free from this confinement.<br />
This forest around me is my truth. It will <i>consume</i> me.<br />
<br />
<i>I'm Drowning</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
The life I imagined was only a dream. In this forest, only nightmares thrive. <br />
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And so it be, the hunt is over. Here I am and here I'll stay.<br />
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Rain water fills my mouth. My eyes begin to close. My legs forget. Here I am. There I was.<br />
<i>Drowning</i><br />
<i>Drowning</i><br />
<i>Drowning</i><br />
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And so I did.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-2282176549565146152019-03-01T12:33:00.001-08:002019-03-01T12:33:08.241-08:00The Art Of A Heart Beating The art of a heart beating is a mystery to some.<br />
Although I am an expert to the mechanics of mine.<br />
The rips and tides are hard to imagine, but we feel them intensely.<br />
Blood circles around the tiny orifice that connects to our soul.<br />
She controls herself as we try to make sense of the twirls.<br />
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Our minds work independently without the presence of our beating hearts.<br />
If this is true, why do our hearts demand center stage?<br />
Despite what we have built, despite what we believe... our hearts will twist and turn until we are completely unrecognizable.<br />
Our desires are not something we ever wanted.<br />
<br />
At the end of a single moment, we are transformed into a different beast.<br />
Our life around us will crumble with one flutter of a beat.<br />
What is this craze? What will it destroy?<br />
There is no mystery. There is no control.<br />
The mechanics are clear; the manual is not.<br />
<br />
A simple organ that thrives at a complex rate.<br />
The destruction will scatter before we notice.<br />
We stand, overcome with lost emotion.<br />
What we once wanted, our hearts have chosen a different path.<br />
Without permission, the beating of our hearts are new again.<br />
<br />
The art of a heart beating is a mystery to some.<br />
Although I am an expert to the mechanics of mine.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-38487415570631054812019-01-20T14:09:00.001-08:002019-01-20T14:09:18.894-08:00The more we see, the less we do The dripping slows and the silence gathers.<br />
The more we see, the less we do.<br />
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Controlled by the outsiders it only takes a minute.<br />
Our hearts do not know what they cannot feel.<br />
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Pulsing round and round<br />
The blood drips down<br />
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The darkness thrives like a constant reminder.<br />
The circle turns and more dirt remains.<br />
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Until to stops, it is our only shot.<br />
The more we see, the less we do.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-24264049849078256872018-09-29T16:10:00.001-07:002018-09-29T16:10:51.343-07:00The Monsters WithinThe moment you find the rabbit hole, is the moment you relocate your mind.<br />
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Puzzle pieces scattered on the floor-- looking for a seeker. </div>
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I was younger then </div>
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Color paints the story of what is lost. </div>
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What if we never find it?</div>
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They cuff our wrists</div>
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The chains we live in </div>
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Falling for release.. moments to catch ourselves<br />
Memories flash before our eyes<br />
The monsters within hold us close<br />
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Faith <u>clings</u> to my lips<br />
Death <u>circles </u>my heart<br />
Hate <u>crumbles</u> at my feet<br />
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The monsters within keep me sane<br />
My mind thrills without them<br />
What is this joy?<br />
What is this pain?<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-24282894555408359812018-08-31T10:42:00.000-07:002018-08-31T10:42:02.695-07:00Medicine What a beautiful brain you have.<br />
Brainwashed is a shame.<br />
Your veins run cold; covered in blood.<br />
Red like a blood bank.<br />
The leaves are crunching into my numb ear.<br />
This is what happens.<br />
Heart block.<br />
Beep. Beep. Beep.<br />
The soul is what is worth fighting for.<br />
I let my blood run dry. My chest is spilling. Heart beating wild.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-61225827348776392222018-07-18T21:26:00.001-07:002018-07-18T21:28:22.179-07:00What Would It Take?Today is a day to breathe and believe.<br />
Our lungs are filled with hope and desperation.<br />
We cling to possibilities and missed opportunities.<br />
Doubt finds us with open arms.<br />
What would it take to jump?<br />
<br />
Tomorrow is never what we hoped for.<br />
Occupied space haunts our minds.<br />
Windows crowd the only possible view.<br />
Depersonalizations take ownership without leaving control.<br />
What would it take to leap?<br />
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Telling stories as if it happened.<br />
Overly attached to memories that never were.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEnujmmmJePrSB8v59i1ClZSIoDIRv2-VfWnzspR993SXsRrckqKyOmmkz_ni7G5O8yNded3fXiUUGg8KbLL0B8Aw9oda-gMrYZ9QFxNZblWi6cQsw190m7FiDDzCmMULDHRcOqmMLXpE/s1600/black+and+white+blog+.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="555" data-original-width="800" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEnujmmmJePrSB8v59i1ClZSIoDIRv2-VfWnzspR993SXsRrckqKyOmmkz_ni7G5O8yNded3fXiUUGg8KbLL0B8Aw9oda-gMrYZ9QFxNZblWi6cQsw190m7FiDDzCmMULDHRcOqmMLXpE/s320/black+and+white+blog+.jpg" width="320" /></a>Water pouring to cleanse and give repentance.<br />
Deep down we know it's fake.<br />
What would it take to rise?<br />
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Together we hope for a better world.<br />
What would it take to get there?<br />
<br />
One by one we beg for change.<br />
What would it take to enforce it?<br />
<br />
Wisdom covers our dreams and ambitions.<br />
What would it take to stand?<br />
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Desire can make us love.<br />
What would it take it surrender?<br />
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What would it take?<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-27633795544203951652018-07-09T18:14:00.000-07:002018-07-09T18:17:24.381-07:00Raw <div class="MsoNormal">
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Watching the coffee
shop buzz like New Orleans during a heat wave, I began to wonder what brought
curiously different people to one location. The espresso strong in smell and
taste; the room roaring with conversation. To my right, I see a stern woman
tutoring a seemingly frustrated scholar. To my left, I witness an elderly
couple holding hands while they share a steaming hot latte. In the far corner,
computers are lined up in unison like racehorses at the starting line. Personally,
I refer to these patrons as “the clickers” because of the sound it makes when
they are click, click, click the keys on their high-priced technology. This
sound echoes through the coffee shop as does the screaming noise of the
espresso machine. The aroma is intoxicatingly raw as the barista passes my
table with a vanilla chai. Light jazz music plays in the background making the
atmosphere cozy. The more I study the room, the more I see different eyes
staring back at me. I'm alone, drinking my overly priced iced coffee. The man
by the door talks loudly to a familiar face as he waits for his order. I finish
my coffee and order another. "The clickers" are down a few racehorses
which lowers the clicking sounds. The music seems louder now. My eyes meet
another women like myself. She quickly looks back to her book as if she wasn't
watching the room just moments before. Rain begins to sprinkle onto the metal
roof. Those outside fill the small square room to max capacity. It feels warm
now and the music gives off a busy vibe as it is drowning with people talking
over one another. I wait for others to leave; hoping the rain will keep more
from participating. It's my favorite spot for coffee that is too strong to
drink. The taste burns my mouth. It settles deep into my lips and licking them
doesn't matter. The coffee is raw. Raw doesn't always taste delightful. Raw is
the thing we hope we will like but we never do. But ordering the same thing in
faith that one day will can handle raw. I chock down my caffeine believing that
something will grow in me from it. My stomach aches. My eyes widen. It's what
we're all here for. The chase. The gut feeling that we are nothing more than
our experiences. The elderly couple have left leaving a half-filled cup behind.
I guess that's all they need. "They will be back," I think to myself.
I question my sanitation as I consider grabbing the remains of their drink. If
I drink it, will I gain what they treasure? My thoughts evaporate as the worker
cleans the table. "My chance is gone," I whisper. The mellow
environment returns into the small space as some leave and some arrive. Two
fresh visitors kick back shots of espresso; letting out a large
"Ahhh" as they swallow the toxic concoction. You can see it in their
eyes as the elements run a dreadful course. They're going to feel alive after
this.</span><br />
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-72828514042680897502018-06-18T12:52:00.001-07:002018-06-18T12:52:43.162-07:00In Circles Deep down into the heart of gold, lives the tiny marking of black smut.<br />
Within that forgotten black hole, lies the truth.<br />
Its horrible really. The hate, the empty space, the pain. <br />
I find myself running circles; like many years before.<br />
How deep does the dark go? No one ever really knows.<br />
I always pictured myself dancing. Throwing my head back, arms in the air.... dancing.<br />
Smiling. I was always smiling in this fake vision of myself. Smiling, dancing, living.<br />
Is that what holds the black smut? The heavy truth of what never was. We never get it back.<br />
Death is around each corner and we never get back what is lost.<br />
Pain lives on like an enormous opportunity. What are we suppose to learn from it?<br />
How to be happy? I thought that's what it was.<br />
We'll never get it back. You never do.<br />
Walking like zombies in circles. Always in circles.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-49622407277130136742017-11-21T19:14:00.000-08:002017-11-21T19:14:27.119-08:00Roller Coasters I never liked roller coasters. They were dangerous, unpredictable, and foolish.<br />
<div>
My head titled back so my eyes could see the stars. That's all I ever wanted.</div>
<div>
We began to move... our feet lifting off the cold grass. I held my breath as I always did.</div>
<div>
"I am foolish", I thought to myself. I feared roller coasters,and yet here I was.</div>
<div>
My arms floated passed my head. There in that moment, the world was clear. </div>
<div>
We spun around and around. Feeling free and lifeless.<br />
<br />
For as long as I can remember. I have floated. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-30693415943045799072017-11-21T19:12:00.000-08:002017-11-21T19:13:13.611-08:00Wicked WickedA witch gave me a crazy pill. That's why I'm insane.<br />
I'm insane because a witch gave me a crazy pill.<br />
Pure as snow, she said. Red as blood, she said. Black as magic, she said.<br />
Around and around her spell went. Over and under her spell went.<br />
That's why I'm insane.<br />
My eyes opened wide. My mouth closed shut. My heart bleeding out.<br />
Running, running, going.<br />
Passing the dead, passing the living.<br />
That space in the middle.<br />
That's why I'm insane.<br />
A witch gave me more. she said so.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-65980729896346541182016-10-28T12:16:00.000-07:002016-10-28T12:16:27.671-07:00Death over Death <div class="b_paractl">
You should take my soul</div>
<div class="b_paractl">
You should take my life</div>
<div class="b_paractl">
<br /></div>
<div class="b_paractl">
Ignite it </div>
<div class="b_paractl">
Entertain my faith</div>
<div class="b_paractl">
<br /></div>
<div class="b_paractl">
I bet most of myself was lost </div>
<div class="b_paractl">
I'm taking over this body</div>
<div class="b_paractl">
<br /></div>
<div class="b_paractl">
Take the pain</div>
<div class="b_paractl">
Entertain my faith</div>
<div class="b_paractl">
<br /></div>
<div class="b_paractl">
I give you my soul</div>
<div class="b_paractl">
I give you my life</div>
<div class="b_paractl">
<br /></div>
<div class="b_paractl">
Ignite it</div>
<div class="b_paractl">
Entertain my faith </div>
<div class="b_paractl">
<br /><br />I fought it plenty and it seems empty</div>
<div class="b_paractl">
<br /></div>
<div class="b_paractl">
Behind both eyes</div>
<div class="b_paractl">
Seems only flesh is what I have </div>
<div class="b_paractl">
<br /></div>
<div class="b_paractl">
We were gifted with thought </div>
<div class="b_paractl">
It's our hearts that make the beat</div>
<div class="b_paractl">
<br /></div>
<div class="b_paractl">
Death over death </div>
<div class="b_paractl">
Faith over faith </div>
<div class="b_paractl">
<br /></div>
<div class="b_paractl">
<br /></div>
<div class="b_paractl">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-68191136847775094792014-09-30T13:52:00.002-07:002014-09-30T14:09:13.710-07:00The people we knew in wonderland <span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Time after time, I find myself wondering in circles. Always the same circles. Always the same result. What would happen if I jumped out of the bubble. Ran? What would I become? </span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I run back to the night I never met. I run in circles but it never happened. I like it all that way. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Listening to teeth telling me how to quit. What if we never loved at all? </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She smiles and says, "You're broken, my darling". And just like that I fall back into my life. Sitting in an office with the phone lighting up, with the people screaming for more. Coffee slipping down my shirt. My mind spinning.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My daydream cut short by a complaining boss.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I felt like Alice in Wonderland... lost in the real world.... only alive in the world found in poor little Alice's mind. But I like it all that way. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Looking back on my life, I see snap shots of who I was. Flashing in front of me like a large projection throwing images of someone I no longer knew. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She was pretty. She was sure. She was lost. She was free. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She saved me. </span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I met many people-- many things, I should say-- while staying in Wonderland. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A talking flower that would sing sweet words to whom ever would listen. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A wise fox that whore glasses and always carried a book.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">An owl with the ability to read minds. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A scary wolf that could tell the future. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A floating bubble that could take you anywhere in the world. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A snake that would erase any sin of your choice. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They all ran free in Wonderland but sadly they were trapped there. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Maybe they didn't have it all.... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Maybe they didn't want mortality. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Maybe my daydreams where their nightmares. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Maybe nightmares are just reality. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-63359774024140141752014-09-16T09:53:00.001-07:002014-09-16T09:53:45.452-07:00The Unknown <span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Over the years I find myself lost. </span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Truly lost at sea</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But what's so wrong with that?</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I prefer it this way.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I prefer looking away from the unknown.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I prefer not knowing </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What happens when the rest of the world moves forward?</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What happens when the rest of us love?</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What happens when it's not me?</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I never look at myself in the mirror anymore. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The face lost in motion is not mine.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The face gleaming back at me, she is not mine.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Over the years I find myself wondering.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Wondering around this hopeless world.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But what's so wrong with that? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I like it this way.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I like looking away from this world </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I like not knowing </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What happens when it's over?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What happens when I look through the glass?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What happens when it's meant for me?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I never wonder in circles anymore.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The circles always turned black.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The circles haunting me, they are not mine.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Over the years, I have stopped looking for the unknown.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-80150995519478697392014-09-02T09:24:00.001-07:002014-09-02T09:24:24.228-07:00Getting featured and allSome of you have been reading my blog from the start... and others have just started reading. Either way, I could not be more happy to share what I love to do with anyone willing to read.<br />
Recently, like two days ago.... my blog was featured on the "hot and trending" blog, Every Day is a Holiday by Carrie Buchert. YAY, right?! Right!<br />
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Here is the link! Check it out! <br />
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http://carriebuchert.wordpress.com/2014/08/27/happy-national-tug-of-war-day/<br />
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Thank you to everyone that has supported me through the years!<br />
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Thank you, thank you<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-58383303529691011072014-07-30T15:54:00.002-07:002014-07-30T15:54:49.525-07:00How they did itI liked walking in circles. You never knew what thought would hit you next. One minute you are laughing and the other, you are crying.<br />
I liked running in circles. Emotions hit you fast. Racing.... circles.... racing. <br />
A high like no other. <br />
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They snorted coke in a circle. I walked around them. Wondering how they did it. <br />
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They kissed in a line. I ran around them. Wondering how they did it.<br />
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I was never one to follow the threat. But something about this I liked. Danger... Free. <br />
I never snorted or kissed openly (what the hell does that even mean?!).<br />
My mom always wondered what was wrong. It was all the things I had seen. <br />
All the things I knew about. <br />
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One night, my friend Jake and I sat on the cold, hard ground and talked about how we would want to die. I knew I didn't mean what I was saying... but I didn't know the same for him. He was dark. He was scary.... in a safe way. I didn't trust him but I knew he wouldn't hurt me-- I had too much on him.<br />
He ran in circles. Keeping up with the flow. I watched... Wondering how he did it. <br />
He was crazy.<br />
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I had long black hair and always gave a wicked smile. That was me. I was crazy.<br />
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"Try this. I promise you'll like it." <br />
I never danced around in circles and I wasn't going to start. <br />
I looked at the mushrooms in his hand. They looked sad crumbing to pieces. <br />
I didn't want to play their game. I carried the ace. <br />
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They dazed over and over again. I laughed in circles. Wondering how they did it.<br />
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I look back now.... Wondering how they did it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888985878788764287.post-52235857119413797782014-07-11T14:10:00.001-07:002014-07-11T14:10:16.218-07:00Double Daze I missed smoking. There was something <i>dirty</i> about it that I found comforting from my crazed days in the city. I can remember meeting her on the park bench just before dark for our nightly smoke. She's who really got me smoking. I did it for her, until I started doing it for me. Drinking was kind of like that. One sip for taste. One bottle for pleasure. She's who really got me to stop drinking. I was doing it for me, until I started doing it for her. My friends would laugh at me about how much I could drink.... I would laugh at them about how much they could <i>fuck.</i><br />
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Wonderland was the finest until it wasn't. Something about ignoring the rest of the world can bring you such power and freedom to be yourself. I liked things grunge. I liked the "I didn't brush my hair today look". I liked the dark eyeliner and red lips look. I liked my over sized vintage tops. I liked my boots. I liked being friends but never lovers. I liked being drunk. I liked being <i>everything</i> and <i>nothing.</i></div>
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I liked it all. And I wanted it all. I had it all. I didn't care what the world thought.</div>
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Somewhere in the middle of all that, you find yourself in the rabbit hole. Lost in Wonderland and not knowing how to get out. She reached her hand out. And there, I was alive again.</div>
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Watching the smoke settle was like watching her fall in love. The ground would shake.<br />
I can remember sitting on the side of the hill, legs swinging back and forth. Beer after beer, I was buzzed. The sun touched my face as I laughed into the clouds. I looked around and there were my friends. All sitting around more worried about watching their<i> mate</i>. That's when I knew it.... I wasn't like them. I wanted to make love to nature and free myself like any hippie. I didn't care about people. I didn't care about it.<br />
Wanting nothing more than free drinks and a good time.... got me everything I never wanted. And so it <i>was</i>.<br />
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Looking back on my life, there was happiness, sadness, and <i>craze</i>. I don't know much about that person anymore. I'm sure she's in there somewhere. Locked away from the world... that was her favorite. She probably smiles when I drink and laughs when I smell smoke. She probably giggles when I dance gypsy circles and sling into a daze wrapped in red. I hope I have made her proud. I hope she's happy. Maybe we will meet again; different <i>terms</i> and we could have been ground breaking.<br />
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"Get you right where you'll like it. You'll like it, I promise, I swear", she whispered.<br />
I was scared to trust her.... all the visions of my past came running back to me.<br />
But I jumped (what was one last time... for good measure).<br />
She was right. I would like it. I would be addicted to the touch, to the high.<br />
She lead me right down the path to my heart.<br />
I will never be able to thank my evil twin. She gave me everything I never knew I wanted.<br />
Sometimes when Kelsey isn't looking, I will stare at her. In all her perfection, I stare. I smile as I think about the voice in my head, "Get you right where you'll like it. You'll like it, I promise, I swear."<br />
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So yeah, she's still in there. And I don't mind.<br />
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