Wednesday, July 30, 2014

How they did it

I liked walking in circles. You never knew what thought would hit you next. One minute you are laughing and the other, you are crying.
I liked running in circles. Emotions hit you fast. Racing.... circles.... racing.
A high like no other.

They snorted coke in a circle. I walked around them. Wondering how they did it.

They kissed in a line. I ran around them. Wondering how they did it.

I was never one to follow the threat. But something about this I liked. Danger... Free.
I never snorted or kissed openly (what the hell does that even mean?!).
My mom always wondered what was wrong. It was all the things I had seen.
All the things I knew about.

One night, my friend Jake and I sat on the cold, hard ground and talked about how we would want to die. I knew I didn't mean what I was saying... but I didn't know the same for him. He was dark. He was scary.... in a safe way. I didn't trust him but I knew he wouldn't hurt me-- I had too much on him.
He ran in circles. Keeping up with the flow. I watched... Wondering how he did it.
He was crazy.

I had long black hair and always gave a wicked smile. That was me. I was crazy.

"Try this. I promise you'll like it."
I never danced around in circles and I wasn't going to start.
I looked at the mushrooms in his hand. They looked sad crumbing to pieces.
I didn't want to play their game. I carried the ace.

They dazed over and over again. I laughed in circles. Wondering how they did it.

I look back now.... Wondering how they did it.

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