Thursday, May 30, 2013

"OMG LANA"

Today, I googled:
"How to become a spy?"
"Do whales talk to each other?"
Yes, I am completely serious. Yes, I'm aware of how sad this is.

Once I caught myself being really pathetic (as noted above) I decided to make a list of things about myself that I know to be true (so much better way to waste time, right?)

Okay, Let's start:

I am EXTREMELY clumsy. I will drop everything and trip over anything. If you stand too close to me, you put yourself in danger... I have a track recorded of accidentally hitting people or stepping on their feet, etc, etc. If I'm walking with a drink in my hand, half will end up on the floor. I run into walls, boxes, small rocks... anything. Shit happens

I suffer from uncontrollable laughter. I really can not tell you why but I laugh at everything... everything. After years of friends pointing it out... I will finally admit it... I am Annie Carson and I am a giggle box.

I ask a million questions. When I first meet someone new, I want to know everything there is to know about them. If I do not ask them personally, I ask someone else. I find people to be interesting... and I am very much a people watcher. Creepy? Yeah, call it like you see it.

And a few little clips from my wife:

"When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, how I had been living- they asked me why. But there’s no use in talking to people who have a home, they have no idea what its like to seek safety in other people, for home to be wherever you lay your head."

"We have nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired anymore- except to make our lives into a work of art."
"It takes getting everything you ever wanted and then losing it, to know what true freedom is."

"I once had a dreams of becoming a beautiful poet, but upon an unfortunate series of events some of those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again, sparkling and broken."

"I used to wonder if it was God's plan that I should be alone for so much of my life. But I found peace. I found happiness within people and the world."

"I've got a war in my mind."

- Lana Del Rey


Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Sleeping with Poe & The Magical World of Piercings

A thousand "items"in my life have fallen apart. And just as the pieces settle at the bottom, a hundred align
together to make something beautiful. And although my life is still a mess, I can't help but be grateful for the hundred small pieces working in my favor.

To all my friends who have known me to be a shitty friend, missing parties and "get togethers" lately, I do apologize.
Btw, Happy birthday to my ride or die. I love you to the moon and back. (Sorry I missed your party)

If you read my last blog post, you would know that I am working on writing my first novel. And you would also know that it is "loosely" based about my life thus far. With that said, I have been getting many questions about "calling people out", HA don't be silly, I would never use your real name. Drew becomes Andrew for example and so forth... almost off the hook, huh? ;)
My novel isn't about "calling people out", if you were a staple in my life, will you appear in the story? Yes. Although, the section of time you and I may or may not have spent together will be mixed with other tales and lies (fiction writing, and all) that it will be unrecognizable to anyone else the world... maybe other than you. The novel is a story... a fictional piece of literature that will involve pieces of truth from my life to add a little something to the foundation. Nothing more, nothing less.

I am adding an addition to my body. For those of you who know me well, you would know that I have zero piercings and zero tattoos. Well, that's about to change--
On Saturday, June 8th I will be getting this bad boy, the Helix aka The Siren.
One of my gypsy sisters will be joining me on the 8th in this magical world of piercing fun.. to hold my hand as I cry, scream, and act like a small child.
I understand that this may not be everyone's cup of tea... but it is my cup of coffee and I drink it black.
There will be a video posted of me actually getting the piercing (for my sister's enjoyment).


In other news, I have been sleeping with Poet, Edger Allen Poe and I think things are getting serious between us. Introduce him to parents? Nahhh, they wouldn't understand him.
A clip from my lover/boyfriend/manfriend *judge me*

"And all I loved, I loved alone".
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity".
- Edger Allen Poe

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Running Backwards

What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude.
It was like being exhumed I answered. And brought back to life
in a flash of brilliance.
What was it like to be loved in return? Asked Joy.
It was like being seen after a perpetual darkness, I replied.
To be heard after a lifetime of silence.
What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow.
There was a long pause before I responded:
It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me --- said all at once.
- Lang Leav

Your lips burned like cigarettes against my skin.
I traced the outline of your lips with mine.
You eyelashes fluttered against my cheeks.
Your hair was a mess and your smile was blinding
That's when I knew it was over. You had me.
And I was totally and completely in love with you.
- Anonymous

True love will triumph in the end - which may or may not be a lie
But if it is a lie, then it's the most beautiful lie we have.
- John Green

"I love unmade beds.
I love when people are drunk and crying and cannot be anything but honest in that moment.
I love the look in people's eyes when they realize they're in love.
I love the way people look when they first wake up and they've forgotten their surroundings.
I love the gasp people make when their favorite character dies.
I love when people close their eyes and drift to the clouds.
I fall in love with people and their honest moments all the time.
I fall in love with their breakdowns and their smeared make-up and their daydreams.
Honesty is just too beautiful to ever put into words."
- Author unknown

"At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want".
- Lao Tzu

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

The Tale of Loserville, Long Hair Don't Care, Am I An Actress, & Writing Books

I trace my mind for something to write...... nothing is thrown back to me. I have been working on writing a book so I'm guessing that's where all my "will to write" has gone.
Maybe an update?

My sister graduated from Oklahoma Wesleyan University with a degree in Business. Along with finishing college, she also completed her fourth year playing College Softball. 
A graduation party was held for her Sunday.
I rocked a vintage top and my "long hair don't care", to said party -----> 

I begin filming on my second film through Carson Productions on Saturday the 25th. This film, The Disorder, is about a young woman suffering from a multi-personality disorder. I play Maggie; Maggie is one of the three personalities Madison holds. This will be my first film to play the "Director". Nervous, excited, and always ready for more.

On the 30th and the 1st, I will be playing the lead role in a film called, The Vine. It's freaky scary and that's all I can really tell you about it.

Assuming you are reading this, leads me to believe you read the second sentence in this Blog post. Am I writing a book? The answer is yes. I am writing a book that is loosely based on my life. I use the word loosely, very loosely. Only about 5% of the book is my actual truth.
Due to the lack of free time I have, I write when I can. That means, I'm basically only on chapter five.
I am going through Amazon to publish my book and it will be available to you through Kindle-- Sorry Nook users. I decided to write I book because writing is something that I love... and I have a story that needs to be told (in my opinion). It will be a long while before the book is finished and published but I'm working on it. (Huge thank you to Nick for the tips and publishing suggestions).

So, this has been boring enough... Buuuuut, this is what's going on in the life.

Cheers!