Monday, July 15, 2013

"You like your girls insane"

She smoked cigarette after cigarette-- she hated waiting on him. In her black tight fitted dress, they stared. Wishing for one chance with her... to show her how to be treated like a woman. Her head in the clouds and nothing more than a care in the world. She dreamed in color and he prayed to hell. His words left her feeling free... weightless.
With the burning desire for each other... they lived for nothing else.
Dancing on bar tables every night, she wouldn't give it up.
"Keep making me laugh. Let's go get high. Take a walk on the wild say. " He said.
"I'm already there." Was her simple reply. She gave a  smile, "You like your girls insane."
She left him wanting more, "Don't make me sad, love is never enough and I don't know why."
"I love you with every beat of my cocaine heart." He whispered.
"I'm crazy baby... I need you to come save me." She laughed.
Drinking and driving. Learning and loving.

True or false? I'll never tell.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Mr. Suave

I didn't notice a wedding band and frankly I couldn't care less. He seemed to be in his late 20's or early
30's-- this I also could care less about. My eyes caught with a glance of his dark hair (a personal favorite) and his effortless smile. He wasn't charming and some how I was completely fine with that. His style was straight from a Dillards' catalog. I pictured him as a lawyer... something boring to equally match his style. Boring isn't fair-- more like, very "put together". Maybe by his well groomed Stepford Wife. Our departure was as smooth and quick as our "hello". With a graceful smile, we both went on about our day... and that was that. At least I thought it was-- about an hour after Mr. Suave left my life and I carried on with my to do list built in my over crowded brain, a quick moment... just like before. There he was. Walking past me like my favorite lustful fantasy. But something wasn't lustful about it at all. Mr. Suave gave his shy graceful smile I was learning to love and in that slow moving minute, he paused. He had been searching his pockets for his car keys, but in that frozen second, he did just that, he froze and our eyes locked once again.

After my evening coffee and wine shopping in Whole Foods, I thought about Mr. Suave and I began to think about all the other men in my life... and now to add to the list... Mr. Suave.

So the story begins like this, a meaningless glance meets a shy smile. A dash of faith, a pitch of desperation. And there you have it. Coffee for two. Maybe the story will only last for a turn of a page or maybe even a short paragraph filled with awkward pauses -- it's a start. And the story will move us on. So here we go.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Oh The Weekend

While thrifting this past weekend I found a copy of "Julie & Julia", a "said to be" wonderful novel/memoir that was turned into a motion picture staring Maryl Streep and Amy Adams a few years back (or a little more). Being a fan of the movie (own it and have watched it more than I would like to admit), of the same name, I thought, at .50 cents? Why the hell not? So I now own a copy of the novel that the wonderful movie was based off of.
At 131 pages in, I don't know if I'm a fan yet... but I never judge a book until the last sentence is read. So... okay, we'll see.

I had forgotten how much I truly enjoyed reading... these past few days have twisted right around to the old me-- staying up late lost in another world with no desire to leave.
The weather being so beautiful has only made it worse. I have been wanting to call in sick, forget auditions, and put off calling back my parents-- all to sit in the sun with a wonderful story (sunscreen of course; much too pale for that).

I haven't been writing, which saddens me. My novel now, is even further away from completion. I'm at peace with this though. I would rather write a quality story than throw something together.

I started looking into apartments in Los Angeles. This thought is utterly terrifying. The fear of moving to L.A. and being a small fish in a huge pond (referring to acting) rather than being a big fish in a small pond (Baton Rouge, New Orleans) is more than I would like to think about at the moment.
Everything happens for a reason. I shall allow the pieces to fall where they may.

As many of you know, I recently bought a car... all by myself .... paid in full (I worked so hard, so yes... it feels a little nice to brag ;D). When buying a car, you forget all the little things that come after you have actually purchased the vehicle. All those little things cost money... and yes, that sucks. I have never been so proud of myself and stressed in my life. The real world? Yea, it's everything my parents said it would be.
While shopping for the car of my dreams, I very much wanted to just cave and go get a loan... but sitting here today, I am very very happy I waited and was able to pay for the car in full. No car note is wonderful and I feel great not having to worry about that. Especially with all those "extra little things" right now screaming for my hard earned paper bills. Ah life.